We set off, 2600klm. to look foward to, with a wingless plane on the back

So, we pull out around 2.00pm. in high spirits with Ken's 5yr. old daughter strapped to her chair and a Sony thinghy bolted to a wooden contraption Ken made up behind our seats. This played Bob the Builder films and various Barbie type noises to lul us into a sense of security as we sped to Koblenz in Germany to the Grandparents. We couldn't do this in one hit so aimed for Troyes somewhat south east of Paris as a first stop. This was over-ambitious.

Ken and I hit it off straight away as we have so much in common ~

1/.Ken composes his own Jazz music. - I can't read music.
2/.Ken plays various instruments/clarinet/sax/piano etc. - I play nothing.
3/.Ken has a pilots licence and flies big jets. - I've sat in the back of one. (a small gain there)
4/.Ken is married and has two children - I'm not married but do have two sons. (another notch)
5/.I sail and race Yachts/Dinghy's - Ken can't sail.
6/.I am the best colour printer in the Universe - Ken knows nothing about Photography.
7/.I am a diesel fuel injection engineer - Ken knows what an injector is. (see 4. above)

We DO both have the same stupid sense of humour. (At last, a common bond).


So on this basis we blasted off heading onto the motorway, (at legal speeds), heading north into the unknown. While we filled up with diesel, nipper played with her windmills. Aahhh, sweet.

We stopped quite often to make sure the little one was happy, changing the films/games plus stuffing her full of e-numbers, and she wanted for nothing, and I must say, she was as good as gold.

Progress was swift with the 'state of the art' almost new Cobra trailer towing superbly; the only caveat was getting used to the airwash from large lorries as we swept by, putting a weaving motion into the mix. Ken was used to this so I soon found out that small corrections on the wheel and in my head made this slightly less alarming as the hours totted up.

Ken lent his trailer (and Glider) to the letter after ' i ' (LAI) last year for a competition; unfortunately LAI managed to turn the lot over on a roundabout forcing an insurance claim resulting in a brand new Cobra trailer. This was brilliant for us except that it cost Ken quite a lot of extra expenses and a huge insurance hike.

It took a few hours to reach Troyes with the stops to keep the small one happy, so we didn't arrive until well after 10.00pm. Going into a large town with a rig as long as ours isn't done lightly and as we hadn't booked ahead we were searching on the hoof, so to speak. Normally it wouldn't be a problem as there were many hotels, had we arrived earlier. But they were shut. I had downloaded 3 pages of hotels on line and printed them out so had many to choose from. This is where Jason came in.

Jason? Who's Jason? Jason is one of the voices on the Mio268+ GPS

that I got on eBay for £60 prior to the off. You get a choice of 'English' voices and the only natural, as against computer generated, voice was down to Jason, as Mio called it, since the others on offer were odd or non English (American). I initially looked for a TomTom as the well known GPS but it stops at Poland, although advertising Europe; and Mio covers Lithuania street by street. BOY was that necessary.
It has a moving map and takes Lat/Long co-ordinates as well as a variety of map presentations/orientations. We found it invaluable, at times a lifesaver. You do need to keep an eye on the paper map as well since it sometimes shadowed a better ' A ' road or motorway for some reason, even when told not to, but would recalculate at will. Looking up the hotels with Jason finding them was a breeze and we were surprised to find many shut. Nipper was already in her pyjamas and asleep in the back so we cast around until finding an Etap which also seemed shut, until working out the 'First shove your credit card in to get the room number, and notice that another card drops into a tray below, (this is outside in the dark), this swipes the relevant door to open it' scenario. This worked fine with a couple of rooms and with breakfast in the morning (extra) , we pressed on.

I also downloaded and printed out this lifesaver in-case we did a LAI. After all, we wouldn't want to let the team down. I was pretty good at the Rupert Bear origami as a boy so it shouldn't be a problem. Feel free to print it out life size and get folding.

We haven't needed the origami so far and after a rather patchy Etap breakfast ,buffet style which was replenished by the miserablest of employees we pushed on to Berlin via Koblenz.

Ken arranged to meet the Grandparents at a layby on the outskirts of Koblenz since they live in a cul-de-sac, (see later on the way back) when the maneuvering nonsense has to kick in; this enabled us to drop off the e-number muncher without getting too snarled up. The car got a lot lighter as her case, (at 5 years old?), seemed to be packed with the Eiffel Tower. Dismantled of course, silly. We belted off (at motorway speeds) determined to reach Berlin before dark.

The way we shared the driving wasn't my idea and I found it difficult sitting there all day with nothing to do, mainly on motorways. Ken drove in the mornings until he got tired in the late afternoon when I took over. Not at my best at that time of day but I relished having something to do and generally drove into the night. I think we should switch every 3/4 hours, tired or not, to combat boredom. After all one motorway is much the same as another in any country, and we had 2600klm. of them. Each way. I don't usually get bored in life as I have lived alone for a while and rarely argue with myself. A lifetime of junk and experiences floating around my pea like brain to sift through are enough to keep me entertained.

It was at this time that the Chrysler (actually a Mercedes but since I saw a door jamb plate stating 'Chrysler-Benz' ...) developed a stutter. The windscreen wiper is a thing of wonder I have to admit. It is one blade that covers the whole screen so needs to curtsy at the top of the stroke so it doesn't hit the top of the window. For a while it juddered through the wipe, something less than the Teutonic accurateness demanded leaving the screen splattered. We had to get this fixed as a priority with all the miles left to do.

We made good time and arrived at the Berlin ring road while it was still light. Wonder of wonders. Espying a neon sign quite a way off we headed to the car park of a truly huge hotel well away from the motorway. We found most of the car park full at the front but I soon took over 8 places while Ken made sure there were rooms available.

This cost something like 100euros for the room but included a breakfast that would keep us going for a month. The difference in staffing was remarkable after the Etap misery. They were so helpful, phoning an appointment at the nearest Mercedes agent and even printing out a map of how to get there. The room was good and the brekky sublime. All sorts of cooked meat with fruit, cereal/toast etc.

The 'wings' of the hotel all radiated off a central atrium. This let in lots of light with the rooms off the balconies. The floor plan. Unfortunately I seem to have had the shakes that morning or tripped at the vital moment.

The prisoner ate a hearty breakfast. Ken taking on fuel.

After breakfast we set off for the Mercedes agent who seemed to know how much we had ate.

Wonderful sense of humour, the Germans. They are also very efficient, rushing out with an aerosol spray the problem was immediately banished. (On the car, that is). Wisely, we fitted a new blade anyway.

We pushed out into the traffic on the Berlin ring road about half ten heading for Poland, the land of plumbers and builders, and Warsaw; determined not to stop again overnight.

During my stint I met some of Germany's finest. Coming up to a two lane road-up slalom I went into the outside lane to save following slow lorries and picked up a tail. They followed me for a bit then pulled in front and went slower and slower so I pulled out to overtake and a 'follow me' light went on so we pulled over. Passports/Car docks/even number plates were all radioed in for checks before getting out his pad and fining me 80euros for being in the outside lane and speeding, the sod. Mind you, once again surprisingly, it was with great good humour even with my limited German (Zwei Biere bitte) which didn't help much . In any event Ken speaks German. Determined to get value for money I stopped counting out euros at 50. We laughed. I carried on counting. He handed me a pen to sign the documents so I slipped it into my pocket. He snapped his fingers. We laughed again but he got his pen back.

The border with Poland was the old style where you actually have to stop to show passports being covered the while by sullen armed soldiers. Perhaps a hangover from the cold war. We were in the old eastern block. Poland was a surprise in many ways with no motorway between Berlin and Warsaw, although a dotted line one was projected on the map. Most of the way a two/three lane road with mile after mile of heavy lorries cutting two grooves up to a foot deep in the slow lane with the overtaking lane rutted nearly beyond repair, which made interesting motoring for us. Passing a motorway construction it is not surprising how the ruts are formed. A layer of sand a metre deep rollered flat with two foot of tarmac also rollered flat. Then send hundreds of heavy 32tonners along the same lane and expect the road to last. I think it's for cheapness in the short term until the Euro money kicks in. Consequently there are many many road-ups and delays so don't expect to zoom through a' la Germany/France. Enterprising though, we even saw a concrete bridge being put up with wooden scaffolding. Our stops were mainly for fuel and a pee. Warsaw came up about 4pm. in something of a rush hour which we let Jason deal with in the main. The only other stops debated over were for the hookers standing around the woods waving us in? (they may have been waving us past). I never saw a girl older than 20. But they were busy.

The Lithuanian border was even scarier with much scrutiny and soldiers. Passing through the border, the GPS, (Jason), measured 5kilometers of trucks stationary in a queue coming out of Lithy into Poland with a few cars trapped in the line. The saavy locals were storming up the outside forcing us into the hard unmade up shoulder (this getting dark) which is a feature of both Lithuanian driving and the roads, so you soon get into the hang of swerving aside in the face of sudden death without losing momentum. We took a mental note to do the same on the way home. You also get used to drivers (cars or trucks) who have never passed a test for sure, passing on blind hills/curves/double white lines in a do or die attempt to pass, hoping you'll give way before laying in a ditch. The day they hit Formula1 watch out Hamilton.

Just after the border Ken met Lithuania's finest. They were at the bottom of a long sloping hill with a Radar gun making money. Waving us over they went through even more checks than the

Germans without the benefit of my German linguistic skills. The haranguing went on for quite a while on both sides with them insisting we were doing 96klm/hour instead of the speed limit. Then insisting on a huge fine straight away. While this is going on his mate stopped another car batting down the hill and seeing that it was a local LET HIM GO! That was it. Ken has some Russian and started using it demanding to know where were the signs were showing the speed limit; and what was the limit anyway. He said 90klm./hr. We were 6klm over; more snarling and arguing and we were waved away for a least troublesome foreigner probably. We got away with it this time although there were no speed signs in view anyway.

Apart from the driving skills and Lithys finest, Lithuania seemed a tad gentler. There were many people selling berries (picked in the vast forests?) Honey and Nuts by the side of the road most of them without any form of transport miles from towns. Did they bus there? In France you sometimes see Gnome farms with all sorts of pots for sale. Lithy has windmills, tons and tons of model windmills.

I grabbed this pic as we shot past (at legal speeds). We sped towards the airfield.